I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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