Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
