belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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