Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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