Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Green mimosas i think yes
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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