i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
