He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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