ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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