There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
