The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
"it" just moved
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
