David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
