everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
