There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
