IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
