my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
