if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
