Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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