He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
