Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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