No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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