Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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