My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
