Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
