I wish I could teleport
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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