If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
