it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
