Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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