I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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