dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize