I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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