My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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