I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
