I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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