I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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