you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
