Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
