Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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