Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
