i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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