im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
