That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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