And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
