Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
