I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
