you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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