I wannas sexs uuuuu
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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