I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
