So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
