woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
