my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
