We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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