i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
