Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
