1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize