Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I bet he comes in French.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
