You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
