O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
