Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
