There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
