Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize