Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The adults are the big ones right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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