Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
