Screwed.edu
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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