pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you had me at cake vodka
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
