Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
